The Completely Honest Person Can Never Be Disappointed

    Arthur Ashe said that “success is a journey not a destination.” I came across this quote today and it got me thinking. Success is not stationary. We do not become successful and then stop and sit back.  Successful people continue to succeed because it is the exponent for growth and satisfaction. We must learn what success means for us as individuals, and how we can achieve it; but the journey does not end there. Once we learn how to be successful, we must maintain the desire, and foster that desire in others

    Our lives are a product of our expectations and actions; consequently, our satisfaction is the result of the effort and value we put in to advancing our opportunities. We cannot subside upon allowing others to create our destinies.  What we think we are capable of doing is our potential; therefore, potential is mental. For fear of inadequacy rather than in malice, critics and peers will deter us from realizing our abilities and the merit they contain. We must learn to avoid this trap, and instead maintain that we are the authors of our own destiny. Most people want to be successful, yet they are afraid of breaking character and therefore limit their potential. 

    We must be honest with ourselves in regards to our abilities, while at the same time striving to expand the realms of our existence. One of the most basic causes of disappointment is the failure of honesty in expectations. Stephen Covey offers “The inside-out approach says that private victories precede public victories, that making and keeping promises to ourselves precedes making and keeping promises to others.” In order to be successful we must learn to be completely honest. We cannot be completely honest with others until we can learn to be completely honest with ourselves. This is quite possibly one of the most difficult things for us to do. 

    What we want out of our lives must be congruent with the person we resign ourselves to be. I spent the majority of my life pretending to be something that I am not; and it wasn’t until I stopped pretending and started being myself that I received the feedback I desired. It is amazing how our tendencies are reflected through our interactions with others. If we are wholly genuine with others, not only do we foster each other’s ability to be genuine, but we also illustrate to our peers that we trust and accept in earnest, how they will respond. Summarily we can see that in order to find truth, we must seek with integrity.  

     Honesty may not always be the most beneficial policy, but being genuine can do no harm. 

Lastly, I have shared the link to a short film below that I highly recommend you watch. It speaks to what I have talked about regarding being honest with ourselves and others. And also how we must be careful to avoid letting negative habits detract from our interactions with others.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdoliLNRlHo

On Defining Your Own Life

I’m my best friend, and I’m my worst enemy, and no one else can hurt me unless I let them. Are you hearing me? This is how we can stop dying and start living! Success comes from within, it is personal, and can only be measured by our values and dreams, and our status of their pursuit. Whether we indulge in life's little pleasures, or reserve ourselves to a life of fitting in and planning every word or action, we will succeed in the path we choose. But what do we want the reward for our success to be? Life is like a tree of decisions growing up from the roots. There are many different paths we can take, and each branch will eventually lead to a leaf. We must decide which path we to follow, and what leaf to become. It is okay to be connected, so long as you are not tethered.

    The Best advice I can bestow is; don't be a spectator of your own life. That is the role of society and critics. Don't let the impressions of others control the decisions you make. You should never worry what others think of you, especially strangers. But, you should care about the impressions you leave with your loved ones and friends.

  No one can make you feel inferior without your consent 

     -Eleanor Roosevelt

Some Thoughts on Perspective and Outcome

You can make a choice but you cannot choose the consequence.  First one must examine the word "consequence,"because I know that for me it has a rather negative connotation.  I find interesting how consequences are perceived as negative, yet they are simply the result of our actions, either good or bad.  We often say "no" to people in complex ways or through our body language that relates disinterest.  Why are people so lazy to communicate, so afraid to say what they really think?  If we have no interest in spending time with a person or listening to what they say, can we not simply tell them so?  It would seem more wasteful or detrimental to fake interest than to explain disinterest.  Society has so many ways of saying "no" and some are so clever that they are not detected as such.  "I'll see what my friends are doing"....."I've got a lot of things to do, but I'll let you know"...."Maybe, I'm really busy though".  I'm sure we've heard one of these excuses and never heard from the person in months.  As a society of constant communicators, we have developed so many ways to say no, but very for "yes." Often we say no for unjustified reasons or because it is our natural response to changes, opposition, or unfamiliarity.  Instead of worrying what our friends will think, or how strangers will judge us, let us realistically examine the consequences of the situation.  What detrimental results might come out of our actions?
    To Women: Say yes to the boy who asks you to accompany him to the movies. He's not asking you to marry him, to be his girlfriend, or even to hold hands with him!  If you are afraid of this, tell him "I'd Love to, maybe we could both bring some friends." What is the worst that could happen?  The better question, What good could come out of this simple activity?  At the very least, maybe you will see a free movie, make a fond memory, or create a new friendship.  For all you know, that awkward boy may be your next boyfriend, or possibly soul mate. 
    To Guys:  Dance with the lonely girl standing in the back of the room by herself because she doesn't have a partner. Maybe you don't think she is cute, but it's a dance or two, not a date auction! What could be the result?  Maybe your friends hassle you, or call you a dork, but I can guarantee that you will make her night and leave her with the best impression.  Maybe years down the road she introduces you to her sister or friend. Maybe her friend happens to be the sweetest and most beautiful girl you've ever met. Or maybe she is a perfect match for a organ transplant that you or a loved one desperately needs, years down the road.
    To Everyone:  Let us run and jump in puddles when it rains instead of running to find shelter and subtracting ourselves from existence.  What are the consequences? A cold? Soggy, dripping wet shoes and clothes? Or maybe an excuse to invite a friend in for a cup of our favorite hot beverage. Maybe we stay up all night talking about a great book, and about our lives, our troubles and triumphs?  See how we move from jumping in puddles to deepening a friendship? What would have been the result if we said "no"?  That's for us to decide
    It's amazing the potential that exists when we say "yes". We can know and control the outcome when we say "no," but when we say "yes," when we take that leap of faith, the result has such incredible possibility, far beyond our realm of expectations.  I firmly believe that one can choose to make a happy life or a miserable existence.  These are consequences based on our response the questions life poses offers us.

It's Funny What You Think of At 1am

Truth is, I don't really care about getting a diploma or degree.... I'm in college to learn, not to purchase a career!  You can't fail life, you can only fail yourself, and guess who is the judge of that contest.  I love my life, I love the person that I am and I love the person I will become.  I cannot wait to see where I will end up, but at the same time, I know that it will be great and in that, I find satisfaction!  Empower yourself, but more importantly, empower others, for the world is but a mirror to the person that you are.  Be yourself, and let others be themselves.  We can only achieve our fullest potential when we see what we cannot do, and do it! Love yourself, love others and love the world, you'll be surprised with the reflective image you see.